Affirmative Parenting

22 May

I guess I never really thought about “Affirmative Parenting” until a friend commented on how so close my son and I are with each other and how we effectively communicate. I was practicing affirmative parenting without actually realizing it.

She commented on how happy, cheerful, and contented J seems. He’s never been a difficult child (from pregnancy til now), he’s just cheerful most of the time and smiles/tries to communicate with everyone he meets. She mentioned something about J and I being so connected and communicate effectively as I understand and quickly respond to his needs & cues.

See, I bring J everywhere I go- whether to work, events, spontaneos strolls, and of course, to mommy-baby dates. A lot of the people we meet comments on how cheerful and laid back the little man is.

Since he doesn’t know how to talk yet, J and I communicate through body signals, cues, and through his little “baby words”. As an infant, he would wave his hand when he wants to nurse. At 2 months old, he started speaking “baby words”/phonetics. He would say “Bababa” when he wants to nurse. He’d raise his arms and mutter “Geegeegee” when he wants to cuddle and take his nap. When he does something naughty or starts being impatient, instead of reacting negatively, I give him positive/affirmative words. Take for example when I am working and he wants to play– when he gets impatient, he would start muttering words and express his frustration. I would tell him, “Sweetheart, please let me finish working first then we can play.” As soon as I finish, I’d tell him, “Thank you for patiently waiting. You are such a good boy!” then play with him. Keeping him happy is easy as he knows how to actively communicate and express himself.

Affirmative parenting is creating a bond with your child–making him feel secure, encouraging him through affirmative actions and words, and understanding and respecting your child’s individualism.

There will be countless events where our patience will be tested. Always remember that the best approach to these are through affirmative/positive acts. Always make your children feel secure and unconditionally loved, regardless. Negative reactions will only cause
confusion and negative behavior. Know though that negative behavior should be reprimanded.

Parenting may be a tough job nor does it come with a manual but that shouldn’t discourage us from practicing different approaches until we develop one that suits our child’s needs & personality. I know as parents, there is so much pressure to do and be the best but know that we shouldn’t put it on ourselves and our children. Always keep in mind that your child is an individual–with his own thoughts, needs, and personality, and we must accept and respect these.


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